She nearly squeaked her shame aloud. Had she really thought that?
She tried to steer her mind to the practicalities. What else did she know of him other than that he had a chest that made her want to run her hands up and down it and rest her head against its hardness, rubbing her cheek against its fine hair?
Once again she gasped at her wicked thoughts. When had such thoughts entered her head? And what young woman of delicacy would think in such a manner? She must get her colour back before she returned.
The moment she re-joined the entertainment, Fanny and Antoinette discreetly disengaged themselves and clustered around Thea. To Thea’s relief, Aunt Minerva appeared not to have even realised she had gone.
“What was it like this time?” Antoinette demanded, pulling her out of earshot so that they were alone and separated from the other guests by the broad trunk of a large elm.
Thea stared at her. Had they set this up?
“Hush, Antoinette!” Fanny dug her sister in the ribs. She smiled sweetly at Thea. “We saw you wander over to the water garden and then we observed Mr Grayling follow a few minutes later. Did he? Did he apologise for his disgraceful behaviour when I shamefully thrust the two of you together?”
“Surely he kissed you properly this time?” Antoinette interrupted before Thea could respond. “You were gone a full ten minutes and both of you know there’s no time to lose.”
“What do you mean, ‘no time to lose’?” Thea asked faintly.
“Well, Aunt Minerva is so unpredictable you never know when she’s going to get it into her head to take offence at something and decide to return to Heskett.”
The churning in Thea’s breast redoubled.
“So you would mind!” Fanny clapped her hands. “Oh Thea, you’re blushing. He’s made progress, then.”
“Made progress?”
Antoinette made a sound of irritation as she put her hands on her hips. “Would you stop repeating everything we say and tell us what happened? Did he kiss you?”
Thea touched her lips, which burned at the memory. The sun was gently filtering through the leaves and she gazed at the lovely pattern it made on the ground at her feet as she said dreamily, “In a manner of speaking.”
“Good Lord, he either did or he didn’t.”
Thea jerked her head up at Antoinette’s sharp tone. “It was very brief and then he was apologising and then he was…gone.”
Fanny patted her shoulder. “He left you wanting more? Good. You’ve engaged his interest and that’s a very good start. Tomorrow, at Lady Clover’s masquerade ball, you must reel him in even more.”
Thea shook her head. “What are you saying? I can’t pretend and do things I don’t feel.”
“Of course not!” Fanny assured her hastily while Antoinette was more robust.
“Goodness Thea, do you want to marry Mr Grayling or do you want to lose out to that insipid Miss Amelia Huntingdon, because when we’re all at Lady Clover’s masquerade he’ll find himself obliged to dance with her, and if she’s sufficiently encouraging then who knows where it’ll end? You’ll be left with the dregs and end up as wife to some impecunious curate or penniless clerk when you’re on the wrong side of thirty and Aunt Minerva has dropped dead and left you without a penny.”
“Now, now, Antoinette, that wasn’t nice,” her sister admonished.
Thea shook her head sadly as reality weighed her down. She turned back to look at the knots of gathered guests mingling about the gardens. “It’s true, though. And Aunt Minerva said under no circumstances will we be attending any masquerades, so I’m afraid that, no, I shan’t be attending Lady Clover’s ball.”
“Oh no, Thea, you can’t miss out!” cried Fanny.
Antoinette shook h
er head and sighed. “That’s too bad, Thea, but don’t worry; we’ll take care of Miss Huntingdon. I’ll turn her into a frog, for I’m going as a wood sprite with magical powers. But do let me press my point, which is that it’s all very well for you to weigh up the balance and the risks you’re prepared to take when you know you have Aunt Minerva you can ultimately depend upon, but what if that changes tomorrow? Who knows how well or otherwise Aunt Minerva has provided for you, or if she has at all? No, Thea, you must take matters into your own hands if you are to have any security and your future is to be less bleak than it is.”
Thea noticed Fanny was staring at Antoinette. Her cousin sounded aghast as she burst out, “Good Lord, I had no idea you gave a moment’s thought to the consequences of your actions, Antoinette.”
Antoinette shrugged. “Well, I didn’t when I let my body rule my head and allowed George Bramley into my bed. Or rather, on the floor in a storeroom at Lady Milton’s ball; but my body was on fire to know what it felt like. I admit, I wasn’t thinking too clearly at the time. Mr Bramley had been plying me with champagne all evening.”
Thea thought she was going to faint. She sent a scandalised look across at her aunt who was talking to Lady Umbrage still, then swung back to Antoinette. “Oh, Antoinette. These words are like a foreign language but I know they mean something…wicked,” she murmured before she could help herself.
“Wicked? To admit to what we all feel? Even Aunt Minerva thinks such things when she thinks about Mr Granville.” Antoinette’s eyes danced. “I’m just more honest in describing how overcome by desire I was after Mr Bramley was so single-minded in his attentions. It was very foolish, I admit, but also very lucky and it enabled me to make a wise decision regarding my future—”